Resilience...

I was completing a personal profile for one of those match making outfits to pass the time and inventory what kind of person I like to think I am. They are great measurements for self evaluation because it is a private self exploration that can be very illuminating if done with honest introspection. It was the usual queries of disposition, personality, quirks and peeves.... It posited one really thoughtful question for me, that has kept my full attention through the day. "Other than your parents, who was the most influential person in your childhood?" What a kewl question. It instantly evoked fond memories of youthful exploits and adolescent striving, swerving and survival. All those awkward growing pains that would shape and sharpen the character of our core person. In my case, I answered my high school women's athletic coach, without hesitation. This may seem odd to those who know me, as I am opposed to organized athletics before middle school. I loath insider and outsider dynamics and secondary school sports can amplify that teenage misery of not belonging. But in my memory, I knew my coach as a mentor and respectful friend who made everyone feel talented and welcome to her teams. As long as they gave a 100% on any given day, strove for personal excellence and lived every day with integrity and perseverance. She was not a physically big person at 5'0", but she had a larger than life zest that was contagious to all who knew her. I was fortunate to spend four years, 3 seasons of sports in each, under her mentoring. Her tireless encouragement and gentle, loving critiques were instrumental in shaping my stubborn commitment to survival and never, never giving up. To give 100%, even in defeat so that we could walk away with our heads held high and no regrets. There was no such thing as a mistake under her tutelage but rather physical errors which were teachable moments and mental errors which induced laps, lots of laps...She made it possible to learn in that very indelible way of learning through natural consequences. It was the most empowering experience that a gangley, un-pretty, wanna-be success story could ever hope for. On her practice plain, there was no such word as "can't". There was no such thing as giving up. Failed attempts only meant there must be another way to succeed. If you fell, get up and try another way. It was she who would sift through our clumsy imitation of skills to discover and nurture our talents with her brilliant observation bolstered in her loudest voice to us: "...babies don't give up! you know why they fall when learning to walk? so they can learn how to get back up and try again!...so, get back up and try again!" Her words are resonating in my mind lately as it has been a particularly challenging time for me these past weeks...it has been a time when, giving 100% seems to fall short of the mark...but then as I sit with a glass of wine, a smile emerges as I hear her follow-up mantra for success: "...then give 110!..." I wish she was here right now; I could use a hug and maybe a lap or two...I miss her inspirations.
We all have someone who inspired us, encouraged us and made us strong...honor those memories and live their legacy...share the same with the next person who needs to live it...
peace and luv ~ ell