It was such a promising day when I woke this morning. Temperatures were pleasant and I felt good, really good. By 10 am I couldn't walk. As soon as the temps rise, the humidity rises, I fall apart. More accurately, my gaiting falls apart. So I sit down, before I fall down. It's a brain injury thing. It sucks. It's out of my control; no matter how hard I concentrate, how much I will myself to stand up straight and walk like a sober person, my legs will not comply. I have a assortment of scars from stubbornly challenging this fact. Betrayed by my own neurology. I could sit and bemoan my frustration but I'm not one to concede my power. I'd rather close my eyes and relive the best days of this summer, the days that I win the dual with my disfunctional brain. The days that I leather-up, fasten my helmet, dawn my favorite boots and ride. . . on the back of someone else's motorcycle.
Every bike that thunders by, loud pipes calling to me, I'm reminded how much I long for the ride. I can sit on the back of someone else's bike without problems. I can enjoy the veracious wind, the intoxicating speed, the scenic splendor, the very contented feeling of riding with a savvy guy at the dash. When I reflect on my past rides; I smile. Deeply. My physical disfunctions evaporate and for those hours, I am whole and satiated. I smile broadly, breathe deeply while living the view over their shoulders; it's better than sex. I have a great relationship with my biker buds, they don't know of my challenges, such barriers to function don't exist when I ride with them. No need to tell them. We have a blessed relationship; pure love ~ for the ride. In this, we leave all manner of reality behind, and get in the groove of loud pipes, gliding on chrome, over the meandering roads and velvet hills of northern Vermont. God bless them for including me; sharing with me this sacred space, this wondrous time to ride. The power of platonic, the power in this process; unless you've lived it, you can't appreciate it. It truly does transcend sexual desire. It is a level of the purest delight that is beyond the physical realm and nurtures me in a spiritual way. When I ride, I am at the mercy of the rider's expertise and I am, we are, in the hands of God. Wholesale trust: it is the most liberating surrender I have ever known. It matters to me that I think this is so; I hope my biker hosts feel likewise. With my hands comfortably anchored on their waists, I know they do. Blessings upon them. May the Lord bless them and keep them, may He be made to shine his face upon them and be gracious to them. amen.
luv and peace ~ el
this post is for the guys who've stepped up to my dreams, honored their gentleman's promise and shared their ride . . .
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