I was trying to explain why I like to ride two-up when it comes to motorcycles. A foreign concept to those who know me as a "doer" and not a spectator. When my friend couldn't grasp my preference for riding with someone to riding alone, it made me think and do an accounting of this phenom. It's a bit complex, or not, depending upon your view of my world. I am at a place in my life where, like it or not, my children and their needs have an isolating effect in my life. I have to be in command of every day, in every way. It's exhausting. Because of my son's autism and the socially irregular behaviors that define him, we don't fit into many public venues. He does the best he can and while we are used to his vocalizations, flapping, jumping and roaring laughter or dramatic screams, the rest of the world is offended or frightened. So we have learned to avoid those places we are not welcome. The resulting decline in typical friends is profound. We don't get invited to many cookouts, or dinner parties; not that there are many to be had in the Lamoille Valley. And this is a whole other reality. It is quite rural here and that means a bit "clan-ish". This is the northern spine of Appalachia; I am an outsider having lived here for only 25 years, not born here, not related to the well established family dynasties (if there is such a thing in up-country VT). So then, over the 5 year period since my son's Dx, my equine community has perished. My parenting worthiness has declined and I live as a single parent of four, high maintenance kids on an odd 25 acre farmstead in small-town rural VT. I love it, wierdly enough, as there is very little pressure to "conform" but it is also isolating to an involuntary degree. I describe myself as a team player with a very odd team. My kids, my farm, my community of families in autism. So then, enter my alter image of self. I love being in the company of good men. I covet the gleam of chromed out Harley's and the rumble of loud pipes. I thrive on the organic experience of gliding through the high country, platonic partners in the ride, escaping a very socially inhibited life for a day. It's how I "work the problem" I live 24-7. My gratitude for the guys who share their ride and make these random escapes possible is boundless. The men I ride with, get it. They appreciate the release I have when I ride with them. When I'm in the second seat, I am free to feel the ride without the demand of the high vigilance of the drive. A generous gift they bestow me. I am grateful, deeply grateful. Living in the moment, free of the dictates of a differently-abled life. Blessings upon them. Short answer: I ride 2-up so I can surrender control for pure joy. So I can feel the comfort of trusting someone else for a time. So I can be childlike in the experience. It's as carefree as I can hope for in any given day. Me: have lid, leathers, good to go.
luv and peace ~ el
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